Can you believe it is almost the end of January already? This
month has completely flown by! Over Christmas break we started Cam on new ADHD
medicine. (I get it if you are against medicine, but this is a judgment free
zone and I know what is best for my kiddo) So, over the break when he started
the new medicine we started to see a huge change in Cam and when I say huge…it
was as if I had my sweet, loving and funny boy back. His old medicine worked for
a while but he started having huge meltdowns and aggression out of nowhere. So
his neuro decided to change his medicine and see if that would help. It helped
so much more than I could have ever imagined. But, then school started up and
though I knew he was doing great at home, I was concerned that school was going
to be a different story. Well, we are three weeks into school after Christmas
break and he has been doing amazing. The teacher said it is like a different
child has entered her room and she can see a huge positive difference in him. I
have cried happy tears every day picking him. Which may sound a bit crazy, but
let me remind you that my son was kicked out of 3 different pre-schools,
kindergarten at his first school wasn’t easy and we have hit many, many, many
did I mention many hurdles since. So, when I, as his mom am so used to hearing
nothing but negative about my son and his issues, start hearing such positive
reports after so many years of negative, of hurdles and struggles, I cry many
happy tears. I as his mom see all of the good that others miss, I see past his
diagnosis, his differences, his struggles, but most others don’t. Others always
focus on the differences, the diagnosis, and the struggles. I have had so many
different teachers, friends, family members, strangers point them out that you
would think I would become numb to it, but really it hurts more and more each
time. But, now my son is having good days, shoot we’re hitting good weeks at
school and finally I am hearing praises. I honestly never thought I would hear
“he had an amazing day” or “he received extra computer time for having such a
great day”. Words like that are foreign to me, which is sad but it is true.
Most of the time my son isn’t given a chance because they see his diagnosis and
his differences first and don’t see the rest of him.
So, since school is going so great I decided to throw
something else in the mix. Sports and Cam don’t go well together. He tries
hard, but his coordination isn’t there yet, his ability to work well on a team
isn’t there and well lets just say we haven’t had much luck over the years with
sports. So last year we didn’t put him into anything. Though I will never allow
his diagnosis to stop him from doing anything, I also am learning (slowly) that
he just may not be able to do the things I want him to do. This year however, I
decided we were going to find something extra curricular for him to do. He
needs to get out there and learn how to listen to others, make friends,
socialize and be a 7-year-old….Autism and all. I researched for clubs and well
there just isn’t much for his age, I looked into sports and kept finding team
sports or golf, both of which he has no desire or can play at this time. Then
it hit me, at our Autism Speaks walk he loved the Taekwondo teacher and spent
some time talking to him. So, lets throw caution and lets be honest my worries
to the wind and take him to a class. I discussed via email all about Cam prior
to the class and the instructor didn’t run away, so I thought that was a good
sign. Cam was so excited when I told him about the class. He was on count down
the day of; every minute after I picked him up from school I heard “is it time?
Can we go now? How about now?” It was cute and heartwarming and shot my nerves
into full force all at the same time. Off to class we went. We had a long talk
in the car about listening, doing as he’s told, etc. We got there and I could
see the nerves in his little face. I kept telling myself to hold it together
(shockingly I did) and reminding myself it is good for him. Class began and I
held my breath for most of the 30-minute class. My nerves at this point were
out of control and my worry was on overdrive. But, he did great! Did he
stumble? Yes. Was he awkward? Yes. Did he give up? NO! Did he love it? YES!
Even though it was hard for him and he was completely uncomfortable with new
kids, new teacher, new place…he did amazing and even better he asked me to
promise to take him back to the next class. Which of course I said yes, cried
behind my glasses in the car with pride and celebrated with a little happy
dance when we got home. Who knows if this will be the “thing” that is right for
him, but no matter what he is excited, he wants to do it and he is willing to
try it. Right now, at this very second, that is all that matters to me.
I told my husband on New Years day that 2014 is going to be
our year. We have had one hell of a ride on this Autism rollercoaster, put
other life issues being thrown at us and everything in between and I believe we
deserve a great year. Cam SO deserves one. At the age of 7 he has had so many
people against him, differences thrown at him, people not wanting to understand
him….dang it he deserves an amazing year! This is a year of positive changes,
positive thoughts and dang it awesomeness for my not so little any more guy and
our family. Autism rollercoaster….this year you are going to be good to us!
