Good Enough

“My son made the honor roll.” “Yeah, that’s great….my son made straight A’s.” “My daughter did her first back handspring today.” “Oh that’s nice…my daughter has done those for years.” Do either of these conversations sound familiar? Maybe not these exact ones, but similar. Times where you are being a proud parent and then another parent feels the need to make sure their child does something just one step better than yours. I feel like our society is in a constant “one upping” battle. I would say it is just us moms, but I have overheard dads being guilty of the same scenarios. “My son scored a touchdown today.” “Nice man….my son scored 5, one being the winning one for the game.” Instead of just saying, “that is awesome. You must be so proud.” Our first instinct is to say our child has done it and not only did they do it, but they’ve done it better. We are so worried that maybe they will think their child is better than ours or maybe they in fact are a better parent than us because their child is doing something better or faster than ours.

I went to a birthday party once that there was a face painter, train ride, bounce house AND petting zoo. Seriously, for a kids second birthday! What is the third birthday or shoot even wedding going to look like? I overheard the mom asking everyone what they thought and did they think it was the best party they had ever been to. So, was the party for the child or was it for the other moms? We are so worried about being “the best” that I think we forget to uplift each other and just be “good enough”. Keeping up with Joneses these days is getting harder and harder and let’s be honest more and more expensive. Not just money wise, but it is also costing friendships, causing self-esteem issues and if we’re even more completely honest we’re most likely not enjoying the work of keeping up with the Joneses. I mean is it not exhausting trying to have a better party, better clothes or what seems most important….having to make sure your kid is better than everyone else’s?

Instead why can’t we be happy being “good enough”? Why can’t we be happy with our children being “good enough”? Let’s be honest, our children see or hear us trying to compete and they will feed off of it. Either by trying to be better than each other and then if they’re not meeting or beating those high expectations, they will most likely have very low self-esteem or some will become bullies because they are so used to hearing their parents say how wonderfully perfect they are at everything that they will start to forget being “good enough” is better than thinking you’re perfect and better than others. As adults we will probably have better, more supportive and more genuine friendships if we stop trying to top each other and stop trying to have our children top each other. If we slow down and really appreciate what our children are good at, what others children are good at and what each of us are good at; I think our lives would feel more meaningful.

If your child does something BRAG about it and if a friend is bragging to you about their child…listen, congratulate and don’t try to think of what your child did to compare or compete. I personally am a complete bragging mama and I am sure it annoys some, but that is what I am and I am proud of it. But, I also love to hear about what my friends or their kiddos are doing and succeeding at. I have lost friendships because I can’t keep up with the Joneses or because my kiddos are “good enough” and not perfect. But in reality were they true friends? Lets stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and start motivating, cheering and loving each other more.