One of those days....

Have you ever sat there just a little jealous of seeing what your friend’s children are able to do and yet you know your child may never be able to? I am having one of those days. It is baseball, soccer, baseball, etc season and all over I am seeing my friends post on Facebook or share with me how their children are doing all of these wonderful activities. I am beyond happy for my friends, so please if any of you are reading this, do not take this is in a negative way. I look forward to going to games to cheer these little ones on, hearing all of their wonderful accomplishments and seeing all of those wonderful pictures. So, with all of that being said, I am having one of those days where I wish Cam was ready for all of this.

We have tried soccer but when it comes to a team sport, he just isn’t ready yet. We tried t-ball and well that failed miserably. He can barely ride his scooter without killing himself, so heading to a skateboard park is out of the question. I think you are getting the idea. His coordination isn’t there yet; his social skills aren’t there….he’s just not there yet. Will he be one day? I hope so. All children are different and children on the spectrum are also very different. I love the saying “if you’ve met one child with Autism, you’ve met ONE child with Autism”. They’re all so different and that is also why there is also a spectrum.

We tried to be the parents that pushed him and really tried to get him to be on a team sport. We always explained his issues to the coaches. Bryan was even the assistant coach for most of the times we tried so he could be there right on the field with Cam and help him. Cam would yell at the other children, push or hit them when he got frustrated, basically it was a total fail. His social abilities just aren’t there yet. It is all over stimulating, too loud, just all too much. It breaks my heart.

When he was a baby I would have talks with him and tell him how I would always be at whatever game he was playing and I would be yelling the loudest out of pride. (Please know that I also told him I would be proud of whatever he decided he wanted to be when he grew up and I always will be proud of him) He came home to a room done in all sports. His room now is even mostly sports teams because I so hoped he would get into it. I want him to fit in. I want to be at that game, being that loud mom yelling with pride. But, that’s not him. He could really care less at this point about most sports. He does try to play soccer with Bryan, but he gets frustrated when Bryan tries to teach him how to do something and a meltdown usually occurs at this point. He’s starting to like to try and dribble a basketball, but his coordination is really against him on this one. Plus again, his social skills just aren’t there yet.

I am much more upset about any of this than he is. He is very happy playing alone, building with Legos and reading his books about animals. All things I think are wonderful. He amazes me with how smart he is and his passion for the things he is interested in. He doesn’t just like a subject; he becomes a complete book of knowledge on it. But, I do sometimes wish he were ready for me to be at that game, taking lots of pictures, yelling for him out of pride and just fitting in. I wish some days his struggles were much smaller than what they are. Today is one of those days.