A Day at the Zoo

Spring break has been wonderful so far. My mom and I took Cam and Peyton over to Tampa for a couple of days and we went to the aquarium, an awesome children’s museum and the AMAZING Tampa zoo. Then on the way back we headed to Legoland. In Cam’s words it has been the BEST SPRING BREAK EVER!! Those are words I love to hear. We had planned this trip for a while, but you never know with him if he’ll actually like the things you plan.

The zoo was the third day and to say it was an amazing experience is an understatement. The Tampa zoo is by far the best zoo I’ve ever been to. Cam got to feed birds for the first time ever and he loved it! He could have stayed there all day. I listened to him talking to them and it was so sweet. It was like he had found a friend and felt ok to be himself. Sounds silly I know because it was a room of birds, but he was in his element. This child loves animals and being able to have these birds sit on his hands and watch them eat and chirp to him was his version of heaven here on Earth. He also got to feed the giraffes, which he thought was a lot of fun. He thought their very long tongues were slimy and he couldn’t stop laughing while he was feeding them. It was just a wonderful time. Peyton isn’t quite brave enough to feed any of the animals yet but it was fun to see her smiling and watching Cam in awe of him. These two have such an amazing bond. I know I have said it before, but I am so thankful for how much they love each other and get along.

This day at the zoo was amazing until the very end. We went in to the gift shop, first big mistake. Not because I didn’t want Cam to get something but because the store was packed and it was overwhelming for him. It was the end of the day, the store was small and everyone was in there. Cam had his heart set on getting a stuffed bird. He LOVES stuffed animals and when he has his mindset for something,  he wants it and can’t understand why he can’t get it or they don’t have it. Well, they didn’t have “the” bird that he wanted. He always has a hard time making choices, he gets overwhelmed when there are too many choices, so the fact that there wasn’t “the” bird and he was looking at all of these other choices was just like watching a volcano getting ready to erupt. I tried to explain to him that we weren’t going to buy anything since they didn’t have what he wanted and now looking back the way I said it made it sound like it was his fault and well he dropped right there with a meltdown. I tried to get him to stand up on his own and that wasn’t happening. So, I picked him up and carried him out of the store screaming, kicking and hitting me. I am very proud of my ducking and moving skills these days. I sat him down outside and people are starting to really stare. The stares don’t usually bother me, but it felt like all of these fellow parents had never seen a meltdown before. So, not only are all eyes on me but I am trying to calm Cam down. Calming him down at this point isn’t working. He doesn’t understand why they don’t have “the” bird and why he can’t have “the” bird that he wants. He just continues to kick and scream. So, once I got him into the stroller we all four started to walk to the car. Well, he’s now scaring Peyton with his meltdown so I ask my mom to take her to the car and Cam and I will be there as soon as this meltdown is done. I found a place for me to sit while he was freaking out in the stroller. I felt as long as he was in the stroller he was not going to hurt himself or me. I knew this was an over stimulated meltdown and there was nothing I was going to say or do to get him to be ok. It was one that he had to work out himself. So, I sat there and I started to cry. Some of this meltdown is my fault, I should have worded things differently, and I should have handled this situation differently. Just at this point a man walks up to me and decided he wanted to give me some parenting advice. Great timing! “Lady looks like you need to go to some parenting classes! I would NEVER allow my child to act like this in public! You are one of the WORST mothers I have EVER seen in MY LIFE!!” Ok, um WHAT?! I was already crying, my son is having a huge meltdown and now this JERK wants to tell me what an awful mother I am. I couldn’t quite believe it to be honest so all I could get out was “I didn’t ask for your opinion.” His response, “lady you asked for everyone’s opinion allowing your child to scream like that. You’re raising a spoiled brat and I feel sorry for him that you’re his mother!” And off this man walks. He walks off after verbally attacking me and leaving me in shock. I can’t believe that this is happening.

I can’t believe that this man just said these awful things to me! I just sat there and cried harder. Cam and I were basically having our own meltdown together at this point. I finally got him calmed down or I should say he calmed himself down and we made our way back to the car. My mom took over watching both kiddos for a while so I could take a walk. I couldn’t even get out what had just happened, I just needed to be alone to cry. Once I was done with my walk and calmed myself down I headed back to the car. Sometimes you just need a good cry and this was one of those times. Cam and I had a long talk, I have been talking to him lately about controlling his anger. So, he said to me “mommy, you told me I have to work on controlling my anger but I can’t. I just can’t!” Ok, kiddo mommy didn’t think she had any more tears in her but you just proved that wrong. You’re right, you can’t control it and that is why I am here. To help you and I have once again failed you by telling you, you have to control it by yourself. Maybe that man is right; maybe I am an awful mom. I made a promise to Cam and myself at that moment that I would not tell him that he had to control it. I have to help him and that’s what I am going to do.

After this meltdown the rest of the trip was wonderful. We had a GREAT time and made so many wonderful memories. Though, what that man said is still bothering me and I can’t seem to shake it. I also feel like I failed Cam because that was a teaching moment for me. I could have tried to teach that man about Autism and explain Cam to him. But instead I sat there in shock and just cried. I am Cam’s advocate and I didn’t do my job. I can’t redo the situation though I wish I could, but I can learn from it. Next time I will be Cam’s advocate and next time the person will not get just a shocked look.