Monday, March 4, 2013

The Brightside


I’m back and all of us survived! Actually, my husband did more than survive; he rocked it as a single dad. He did it all by himself, which is not easy with these two kiddos. My mom had offered to help if he needed it, but he and the kiddos did it all by themselves. I survived, no hyperventilating or white jackets for me. Though, I did have anxiety kick in when I dropped Cam off at school on Thursday, anxiety and tears I should say. But, the positive is, we all survived. I don’t think it is something I will be doing again for awhile because though I had fun, I worried nonstop and the guilt from being gone was overwhelming.

When I dropped Cam off on Thursday I was told that the schools designated psychologist would be coming in to do his evaluation on Friday. Well, if that didn’t just kick the anxiety in! This is something that we have been working on for almost two school years now. Finally they are doing the evaluation and of course it is the day that I am not going to be in town. Not that I could do anything because it his evaluation, I just wish it wasn’t going to be the day I wasn’t going to be in town. I have been trying to get him an IEP for what feels like forever. I have hit so many obstacles that when they actually told me that the evaluation was happening I almost kissed the woman. Of course then it wouldn’t have been just Cam they would be evaluating.

Then today I had to fill out two packets on Cam. Asking all of the questions on his Autism and behaviors. Is it weird that it hit me hard to be filling out a packet that said Autism? I cried sitting here filling them out. The signs that Cam has shown since he was little, thinking back to them all as I filled it out. It all just hit me very hard. The guilt of not pushing hard to get his diagnosis came slapping me in my face. The guilt of listening to others who told me I was wrong and that he was just a child who needed more discipline and not listening to my motherly instinct. Yes, he was only 4 years old when he was diagnosed but I was seeing signs before he was 2 and I allowed others to make me doubt myself, doubt what I knew.

Can I tell you how happy I am that this is all finally happening though? I know it is a continious battle for the IEP, I am not kidding myself. However, I am happy that the road for it is finally beginning. It is also helping me decide what to do for him when it comes to school next year. Yes, I wrote a few days ago that I felt like I had it all figured out but then I started to question myself. But, now I really feel like we know what is going to be best for him.

The life of a child on the spectrum is much like constantly being on a rollercoaster. I know the life of a neurotypical child can feel like that also, remember I am fortunate to have one of each. But, life with a child on the spectrum changes by the second. The fighting for him never stops. The battles with society to accept him, for who he is, not who society wants him to be. It’s a constant battle every second of every day. Trying to get family to understand him, the people that are suppose to be on our side and wanting to really understand him. Sounds easy doesn’t it? Unfortunately, they seem to be the hardest to get through to. Then comes society, constantly judging, pointing fingers, whispering about our children and their differences. It is a constant battle. The school issues are no different. We have to fight constantly for our children to get the education they deserve. Which to me is mind boggling, it should not be this hard.

BUT, I am looking on the bright side…the process for the school help is starting to move forward. We are feeling good about our decision for him for next school year. My husband and I are learning more and understanding more about the rights Cam has and therefore are able to help advocate for him more. What we didn’t know before we do now and that is a positive. The struggles will continue but we are getting armed with the knowledge we need to truly help him…and to me that is a very bright side.

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