Walk A Mile In Our Shoes

         Walk a mile in our shoes. That is a sentence I would love to say to certain family members. It seems just as I am ok with these same people not being a part of our life and never understanding Cam, they rear their ugly heads and slap us in the face. It is bad enough they have little to nothing to do with our family, unless others are around, then you would think they are always around. They don’t like for anyone to talk bad about them, yet they only think about themselves. I am at my wits end and tired of putting on a smile and acting as if everything is fine.

Walk a mile in our shoes. Deal with the constant meltdowns from Cam, the throwing of anything and everything, the hurting himself pretty much on a daily basis and multiple times a day. Deal with the running away from us in public or in our neighborhood and everyone is staring at us, whenever he gets overwhelmed, scared or confused. Deal with the constant doctors appointments, therapies and school meetings. Deal with the constant battles with the insurance companies to cover the meds Cam desperately needs or the therapies that help him to cope in this world. These all happen every day, every hour of the day.

Walk a mile in our shoes. Try and be there for Peyton as Cam is having all of these issues. Try and be the mother and father to her that you so desperately want to be but feel on a daily basis you are failing her because of having to handle all of Cam’s issues. Try to make her understand why her brother is different and does all of these things, all at her young age of 4.

Walk a mile in our shoes. Clean the house while the meltdowns, throwing of everything and hurting himself is going on. Don’t gain weight because of stress; yes I said gain weight because when you only have a certain amount of time each day to eat, it’s not always the easiest to eat healthy. When 8:00-9:00 at night is sometimes the time you get to sit down and eat your dinner because you have been trying to handle Cam’s issues, try to help Peyton know she is amazing and this world we live in with Cam will one day get a little easier and keep our sanity.

Walk a mile in our shoes. You think you’re busy with work. Imagine what my husband goes through every day. Not only does he have to handle the stresses of work, the stresses of being our only income because I can’t go back to work because Cam will spiral down more than he already is, but he also has the stress of being a father to a child with Autism. A father that never gets a break from anything because he has to be on 24/7 either at work or at home and even when he’s at work he has the stresses of home and being a special needs father follow him.

Walk a mile in our shoes. Try being a special needs parent. Try going days with only a couple hours of sleep total because you can’t sleep. You can’t sleep because you’re trying to figure out how to make tomorrow better, how to help Cam when he has his next meltdown. You can’t sleep because you’re worried about the finances, because you think being a parent is expensive; try being a parent to a child with Autism. You can’t sleep because you are constantly trying to read on how to help your child. You can’t sleep because you feel like a constant failure to both of your children.

Walk a mile in our shoes. You who judge, come in our house, not when it’s convenient and not when it’s going to make you look good, but when Cam’s melting down for 3 hours. Come in our house when he’s throwing things at us, screaming at us and all while we try to stop him with everything we have from hurting himself. Be a part of our real life, not the pretend life you choose to want to be a part of.

The day that you can walk a mile in our shoes is the day that you can judge us. Until then, keep your opinions to yourself. We are doing the very best we can in every aspect of our life and having others throw stones and constantly judge us only makes our journey in this life with Cam that much harder.